| | Does anyone need someone to walk with at gradution?? It seems everyone already has their graduation walking buddy, and I really dont wanna walk alone! Let me know.... | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment   |
| | So I saw the movie "Wicker Park" for the first time tonight and it is the fucking sketchiest movie ever. Cant figure it out for the life of me. Plus it kinda makes me wonder if situations like that happen often...I hope not! ahhh! And thats all I have to say tonight. Im going to bed, I am so tired from a very long week. Good night. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| I am so glad this week is almost over. So glad.
Im only writing this because Im procrastinating. What I should be doing right now is an "annotated bibliography" for government but its about the last thing I want to do right now. Im majorly grapling for sources here...we need 8 and I have 6, and I have no idea how im going to find 2 more. Oh well its only 7, that gives me awhile to still look for sources. However, im so distracted, I will probably easily be up until 12 working on it.
Last night I had a really really disturbing dream and I woke up from it crying, thats never happend to me before.
Im excited for tomorrow, I decided to be a kitty cat for halloween. I bought an awesome leapard print jacket, then im gonna of course wear cat ears, a tail and whiskers. And it isnt slutty! yay, i bet ill be the only girl not wearing just lingerie and stilettos. Even with the dress code susposedly so strict this year for halloween, Im sure girls are still gonna put on a bra and boy shorts and try to pull it off.
Wow, highschool girls can kiss my ass. Im not used to people stabbing me in the back and talking shit about me but the occasional times it does happen I get real pissed. Especially when these girls dont even know me....and Ive never done anything to them, so for them to talk shit about me is definetly un called for. Oh well....whatever. I guess its the price you pay for breathing, people are going to try to berate you at any change they get.
People are so hard to read...I wish I could read minds. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| Fall is in the air and I love it. I love how all the leaves are brownish gold, its so pretty. Halloween is my one of my favorite holidays too. I dont know why, I think its maybe because all the halloweens that I had as a child were all really good, unlike other holidays, so thats probably why.
School is going along ok. Its like, time cant go by quick enough, but it goes by so fast at the same time. Its hard to believe that its mid October. I go to New York City in a month, which I am very excited for. Ive never been to New York, so that will be such an awesome trip.
Oh! Im gonna get japanese straightening done to my hair. Which means that I wont have to spend tons of time straightening my hair every morning cause It will already be stick straight for up to 8 months! Yay...this will be so awesome. I have a feeling im gonna get addicted to it since im so obsessed with straight hair. Especially when I move to Florida in June its going to be nice not to have frizzy hair in humid weather for once. I guess the way it works is they dont use very harsh chemicals so it doesnt damamge your hair but its so concentrated that it stays in for 8 months. I heart the Japanese. Not really...but I do pride them in coming up with such a sweet innovation in hair. | | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment |
| I stayed home sick today cause I have a bad sore throat and my head feels like its gonna explode. On the plane ride home I was sitting next to a woman who had bronchitis...she better not have givin it to me! I have big plans this weekend to go up to Greeley to see my sister cause its her 22nd birthday on saturday, so if im sick for that im gonna be mad. My immune system sucks...and riding on a plane doesnt help because of all the germs circulating around in the air. eww.
Haha, I feel kinda guilty because eventhough I was sick, I wasnt sick enough to go to the mall and get a few things...Express was having a big sale so I definetly had to go check that out. My dad was at work, he has no idea that I went to the mall while I was supposed to be laying in bed. ;)
I am so stressed out about college, I dont know where I want to go now. I thought that I would for sure go to FSU, but now thats out, I dont know where else to look. I want to go to college in Florida, so I guess that narrows it down alot. But the application process is really tedious. Especially the essay. Grrr.
Well Im off to therapy now, then I have to go work and im not excited about that at all. Blah. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 10:16 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonmama/sillysuns/sad.gif) distressed |
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| | ha ha. Its no wonder I have ulcers. I can feel myself getting another one right this very moment. :( | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 01:58 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonmama/sillysuns/apathetic.gif) bored |
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| I had such an weird dream last night. grr, I hate dreams that spark up old feelings about someone. Your just doing great and then all of a sudden you have a dream that reminds you of everything about them that you want to FORGET. Whatever. I'm gonna try not to think about it.
I leave for Tallahassee at 4:30 AM tomorrow and get back Tuesday afternoon. I havent decided if im gonna go to the homecoming game tonite seeing how its fucking freezing and I have to wake up at 3 AM to make it to the airport. I havent packed yet, but I wont really need many things...just a few cute outfits for all the FSU guys ;) I hear that they're all outgoing, tan and have lots of muscles. Hehe, and to think that I could be going to the homecoming dance with a highschool boy this weekend...screw that. I really hate to sound like a bitch, its just that older boys are more appealing to me. Cant fault me for that. I just feel like I fit better with people who are a few years older than me, its how ive always been.
Im freeezing right now, it better be warm and sunny down in Tallahassee. I dont think ill be going to the beach seeing how its like 3 hours away, but atleast it wont be so damn cold! | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 09:45 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonmama/sillysuns/cool.gif) satisfied |
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| My life definetly is not going to get any easier than this. Well, I guess it could get eaiser in some areas and harder in others, but I must say im pretty content right now. It could always be better, but it could always be worse too. At the risk of sounding gay and cliche...Its all smooth sailing. Grrr, I hope I dont jinx myself now. I bet ill look back in a year and think, "damn I had it good" Or maybe not, I dont know. I wish I could just see what my life will be like a year from now, cause it will be completely different from my life now. Which could be good or bad. Probably both.
Talent show was good tonight. I was sitting next to really loud drunk kids though, so that kinda sucked.
Oh hell yes...Today I made my appointment to get my hair dyed DARK BROWN, Nicky Hilton style- Nov. 2...prepare to be shocked bitches. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | sheryl crow "strong enough to be my man" | | Time: | 05:06 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonmama/sillysuns/good.gif) good |
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| Ok, so Ive been a negative bitch lately, so Im going to write about something light hearted and non-bitter for a change of pace.
Today afterschool I went and got two really cute pairs of shoes. I got a pair of light pink stiletto pumps and then I got a pair of hot pink and black sandal type things...but they are cute, they have about an inch heel, which is probably the shortest heel I own, but I got them cause they are cute and comfortable, which is nice since most of the shoes I own are not comfortable what so ever.
Lol, Mr. X said that the way I walk "fascinates" him. I dont think he likes me though, I think he thinks im a phony bitch who "doesnt know her ass from her elbow" as he always says. But what 17 year old does know their ass from their elbow? Im not gonna worry about it.
Im am obsessed with that man though, im not gonna lie.(not in a "oh my god your so hot" more of a "wow, this man is intense" kind of obsession) I have dreams about him all the time. They make absolutely no sense, but the past 3 nights hes been in my dreams in some shape or form. I think everyone in psychology is affected by him in some way cause you've never known anyone like him and never will again.
Oh! I also got two rings- one of them is purple, and the other one looks like an engagement ring. Im in a ring phase right now.
This weekend im going out to visit Florida State to interview with an admissions person and just to see the campus. I leave early early saturday morning, and get back tuesday afternoon-ish. It will be a whirlwind trip but It will be really fun to go out there. I dont know if the football team is playing at home, but I hope they are, cause that would be more than awesome to go to a game. :) | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Brrrrrrr | | Time: | 07:27 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonmama/sillysuns/angry.gif) annoyed |
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| You know how some people have the tendency to annoy the shit out of you? aahhhh.
Maybe I just have a lower tolerance for that kind of thing. And I cant help but notice how when someone is really pushing my buttons and aggravating me, I get very passive. I just stop talking to them basically. This is why I dont have many friends you could say...
Ugh, im so not enthused for this week. Its homecoming week, which means that everyone else is super excited except me. Its basically cause I do not like cheyenne mountain highschool, so I have absolutely no school spirit, and I just dont really care. How much longer do I have to tell you all this...I dont care. Really.
This is the first year of highschool where I genuinely dont want to go to homecoming. It seems like such a waste to get all dressed up and go through all that stress just to go with someone that I have luke warm feelings for, if that. Bottom line is...I would rather go with someone that I really want to go with and have an awesome time than to be uncomfortable all night and be counting down the minutes until its over. Ive experienced both, and I would much rather go with someone I like. My dances freshman year were all so good that im spoiled now, Its pretty much all gone down hill from there. Damn my freshman year was good. Haha, its funny cause usually everyones freshman year sucks, but their senior year is the best ever, as for me, its the opposite. Oh well. Like I told myself at the beginning of the year...If I have a good year....thats fabulous, but If I have a shitty year, who cares? Its my last year, and I wont be seeing any one who I went to highschool with ever again anyways. Im so glad that im moving in june. I really am. A clean slate is just what I need.
Alright its laundry time. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | "I may not have gone where I intended to, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be." | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | I hate how Livejournal is at times used as a gossip mill. Its really quite immature. But I guess thats the danger of writing your thoughts and feelings to an internet site where anyone can read it. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| It sure feels good to be the laughing stalk...not!
All I gotta say is.....
"If you want to make a fool out of someone, first stop practicing on yourself"
"If you want to get even with someone, dont destroy yourself in the process"
On a side note, FSU lost their HUGE game against Miami tonight. I thought they had it in the bag at the 4th quarter when they were ahead 10-3. But ofcourse Miami stormed through with a touchdown in the last 30 seconds. grrr. That made it go into overtime, then miami scored another touchdown to make it 10-17. Arg, Whatever happened to 10-3??? I liked that better. So now I have to pay Tom 50 dollars...But theres no way im gonna pay him. Maybe ill just give him sex instead. No. Just kidding. ;) | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| It has really hit me that Im faking everything that I am. I am faking the image I portray, Im faking my feelings, Im faking my happiness...im just a walking talking faker, and that is going to stop right now.
Something happend tonite that made me realize that I need to start living for me, not for what other people want. Im so glad that ive come to this realization, because now I can start living a better life, hopefully. Im going to start doing things that I really want to do...for example this weekend im going to sit at home and watch movies and sex and the city re runs, because I want to. Im not going to call dozens of people (who I secretely cannot stand) asking where the parties are because I dont really want to go to a party and deal with that drama. Maybe some other time....
A giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders...the rope has been cut, I've never felt more liberated and peaceful knowing that the person I am is ok...and If I dont want to fit in with the highschool scene, fuck it, I dont have to. Honestly....a year from now will any of this bullshit matter? I dont think so....
Thank god for psychology...that class rocks my world, ive learned so much about myself and others and its only the third week...I cant imagine how much I will have learned at the end of the semster.
*As of right now I am cutting you off*
I coudlnt be happier about that. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 02:39 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonmama/sillysuns/bouncy.gif) excited |
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| Its hard to be happy for people when they have exactly what you want.
My time will come. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| I have a major head ache now...ouch. Im blasting Ashlee Simpson's CD right now...I doubt that is helping.
Im thinking about what I want to do for my psychology project. I want to make it really good, so im putting alot of pressure on myself. Its weird because Mr. X said that we are already getting A's on it and we already have an A in the class, but I really really want to do a good job and make a big effort. I think thats funny that the one class I dont have to worry about a grade I want to put the most effort into.
I'll be really interested to see what people come up with for their projects. It will be interesting to see everyones deep side come out.
"Here I am, as perfect as Im ever gonna be
stick around, im not the kind of girl you wanna leave
you'll see"
Why is it that I always go for guys that attract girls left and right....and therefor get an ego because of it? arg. I could be aggressive and win him over...but then again, im never really good at that. Too much embarrasment if I lose. Im always thinking about the outcome of things, maybe thats bad. Maybe that prevents me from taking risks.
| | comments: Leave a comment |
| Im the kind of person that takes people for how they are treating me in the moment. It doesnt matter if that person has done something bad to me in the past, if they are nice to me right now...I accept that, and assume its genuine. That has gotten me in all kinds of shit in the past though, and Im afraid that its going to bite me in the ass again.
We'll just wait and see. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| | I hate it when people misinterpret you. Especially when guys misinterpret your friendliness for liking them. Not fair. And it sucks because usually you never know until everything is fucked up and you dont get the chance to explain that your real intentions were actually harmless and good. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 12:51 pm | | Current Mood: | content |
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| Alright so orientation didnt go as bad as I thought it would. And the best part of it all, is that it was the last one. Horay.
I really dont care about much this year...thank god. Im still gonna try to have a good year, but If it doesnt happen, who the fuck cares? It will all be over soon enough.
Whats different about this year is that my attitude is way different than last year. I dont care if people like me or not, cause thats who I am...and I dont have to apologize for it or try to change it. I dont know, I hope I can stick with that philosophy. I also vow to be less insecure this year.
I have to do freshman orientation tomorrow. Oh goody! Thats gonna be so funny seeing all the little freshman being so akward. I was so fortunate my freshman year...I had very hot group leaders. Although they did a really shitty job orienting me, they were hot none the less. It makes me wonder if I was as akward and weird looking at that age. Haha...I probably was.
And then it makes me wonder when I look back at pictures of myself 3 years from now...will I laugh at myself? I bet I will...people change sooo much when they get out of highschool. Everyone I know thats in college right now looks pretty different than when they did in highschool. Peoples style gets alot better too, ive noticed. Like my sisters preppy ass ex boyfriend used to only wear American Eagle and J crew...and now he wears all vintage clothes. And my sister used to be so into hair and makeup and clothes, she would never ever go to school without a cute little outfit and tons of makeup on...now she just wears baggy sweatshirts and never does her hair or makeup. I hope I dont wind up like that. I dont like the grunge look.
Didnt intend on this entry being that long, but thats what happens when you write when your bored. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| Why do you have to go and make things so complicated
Why is life in general so complicated?
a non complicated life would be pretty boring I guess. Lately things seem to be so cluttered with shit...yeah that describes it better.
This is the day that I let the expectations of myself and others go out the window...for the most part. I think its better that way. Less dissapointment and hurt. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
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